


Memories

by Drew-drew (Our_Nom_De_Plume), Our_Nom_De_Plume



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dreamswap (Undertale), Ballroom Dancing, Dancing, Dancing Lessons, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, M/M, Medication, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 15:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21430261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Nom_De_Plume/pseuds/Drew-drew, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Nom_De_Plume/pseuds/Our_Nom_De_Plume
Summary: Stride into the future, just never forget your past.
Relationships: Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Memories

_Spinning. Dizzy, maybe. He can't quite figure out where he's at or what's around or who is around. It's difficult to even recognize it's them. He's gained a friendship with them for the past few months on the streets. He knows them. Why are they doing this?_

It's something distant - something fuzzy and out of focus, just like every detail on somebody gets lost in a haze without glasses to sharpen the image. The image of somebody could be pitying - like an orphan mourning to see their parents one last time, or grand - a beautiful gown that shines and sparkles blue, fades to white at the hips before turning into black lace with blue gems fastened to it.

The latter of the two is something he is wearing. It wasn't something he planned to wear, per se, but he had been sewing it as something to take his mind off a stressful day - a rare occurrence since he's now working with the kids - and it was sitting there, next to his finished sewing and knitting projects, on the desk next to his closet. Sure, it was filled with things of his taste, and a tux he had gotten him for special occasions, but... The dress looked lonely and almost forgotten, though gorgeous.

_He doesn't feel quite here. It's like he's haunted another person's body, but a vague part of him knows he's in his own body. But it's like he's almost unsure of that knowledge. He feels mentally numb - but unfortunately, not physically._

Now he's twirling about, showing Dream how it looks on him. They aren't in private, but the room they are in - specifically, the event room that's to host a fundraiser tonight - is currently absent of anyone but them. Dream doesn't question the sudden change in clothing, and he doesn't take much mind of it either.

He's forgotten his glasses in his room, so everything looks blurry and out of focus, even when he squints. So when Dream offers a hand for a dance with him, he takes it gratefully. 

"Have you ever danced before?" Dream asks.

"Not exactly," he answers, "Have you ever seen Nightmare dance before?"

"Point taken," he thinks Dream is smiling, and it brings a smile to his face as well.

"Will you show me?"

"Yes," Dream answers. "I shall guide you through it."

_They didn't bring any warning flags. They came into his life as someone who both needs and can offer help. Who knows what he's going through because they are going through the same thing as well._

_He couldn't figure out if there was a sign, a word perhaps that hinted to..._ This_. But his mind races a mile a minute. He can't fully process everything. There's too much pain._

So they practice. He has trouble with his footing and occasionally gets the rhythm wrong, but Dream is patient and teaches him. Shift your weight onto one leg, take only a step, make sure not to step on your partner's shoes - it's easy once he memorizes it.

He doesn't learn much more then that. Both him and Dream know why - they do not mention it.

In betraying Nightmare and taking JR's side, Error had to get special treatment for various things. The last of it shall be done within a month - surgery for his eyesight - however, when the realization came that Error had no memories of his childhood and teenage years, he'd been offered to see if they could regain his memories. It was a confusing and long process, but it ended up working. He ended up remembering many things.

_He's left there, like worthless, soggy paper to later ache with pain from such abuse to a foreign area. It's so bad he wants to cry, but he is unable to. There's blood. There's scratches and he's just_so afraid_that he'll get an infection or be so weak he can't defend himself._

Some things, however, should be left forgotten.

He can't tolerate being the one who uses violence as a means for anything, and is always jittery when it came to others, especially in high-stress situations. He's getting treatment for PTSD, and is still on various anti-depressants to keep from having a breakdown. It's been a long, slow process, and not everything has improved. Even though he's warmed up to Dream, and is able to tolerate touching him for a matter of minutes, he's not how he was before.

The clock strikes and a bell rings 7 times. It's 7 in the night. It's 7:30 when the fundraiser begins.

"Error?"

"Yes?" He hums back.

"I must forewarn you that there is going to be a multitude of others that shall be coming in," Dream admits. "Because of this, I'm afraid that you'll... end up not feeling well during the event. Do you want to opt out of attending this?" Dream asks.

It's a valuable concern. Crowds are not his favorite thing. He hates crowds. A lot of things involving touch are not his favorite thing, truthfully. But something about not attending this, a sort of date they had been setting up for months, churns his soul in a way that's unpleasant. He ponders on about it, thinks about the ups and downs.

"I want to stay with you," he mentions. He can't see Dream's face well, but he could feel the emotion that appeared in Dream's eyes. He's happy.

"Shall we continue dancing? Would you be fine with that?"

He nods. "A few more minutes, just don't spin me."

Sure, it's scary. A million things could go wrong. But so long as he's willing to endure it, so long as he's able to and to improve, really, how many of those million things _can_ go wrong?

No matter the number, Error is happy to have stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who might want to have a little mini-story:
> 
> I have gone through a time where thinking about my past was too painful to me. "Never forgetting your past" does not mean remembering everything as painful and regretful - but rather as something that while has happened to you, is something you can use to learn from, in order to help you "Stride into the future." It always used to confuse me as to why anyone would want to remember where they came from - why they'd want to remember.
> 
> One day I was looking through an old art book back in 2017, when it hit me. You are to remember your past _so you can apply it to your future, to keep you going._ To date the drawings hold a special meaning to me and I've filled every page up with re-draws of every single one. I would post pictures on Tumblr, but it would easily exceed 200+ pages.
> 
> As for the touchy subjects:
> 
> Some people say that they have gotten over depression on their own without medication. Which is great to hear! But... This isn't going to be possible for everyone. I know this for a fact, as even in my small amount of while taking Zoloft (and my Wellburtrin for longer) I've only been able to make significant and consistent changes with both Wellburtrin and Zoloft (note: I do know those have major interactions, chill and don't get worked up, I'm the least at-risk for seizures). I feel it adds a touch of reality to the situation, which is also why it's hinted that Error's/Myriad's r#pist is a close friend, which I believe is to be much more realisitic then just a random stranger.
> 
> Or, y'know, to put this whole thing shortly: Marie Kondo said if it doesn't spark joy then throw it out and that's my philosophy on Dreamswap's canon, kiddos.
> 
> (Comments over kudos pls I love f ee d b a ck)


End file.
